Unrequited love

"The world is littered with broken hearts of those who offered it to someone who didn't feel the same. It's not an easy situation no matter which side of it you're on or what the reasoning behind it is. And it's all around us, this same story plays out over and over again. Unrequited love is the subject of our art, because the pain of a broken heart is a part of our humanity, as is the joy of having it returned ten fold." -- Taken from valleygirl on the kcon forums.

This really is the raw truth. Ive learned many hard lessons of love, but none as harsh as unrequited love. You feel like you have met the person of your dreams. The idea, the sight, just being around them makes your heart pump harder, better, faster, stronger. I felt like I had found someone who just enjoyed life, someone who shared many of the same interests as me, but more than that, someone who had the same passions as me. Someone who was their own person. More than anything else in the world I wanted to just see her smile. The thought of making her happy made me happy. It was the little things, how her hands got ice cold when it was 70 degrees outside, it was her appreciation for things like funky little stickers on signs. She was the only other person I ever knew to use the word "wonky" besides myself. I wanted to be with her when I woke up and before I went to bed. I loved her. More than I had loved anyone before.

However it was not to be. And that is the hard part. To me she was perfect. But to her I was just another person. Nothing special, it wasnt just the rejection. It was the rejection when I already had so much invested. As friends things were great. But such a thing can not last. I wanted us to be more. My heart screamed to be heard. So I did it. I told her my feelings, and she told me she had none. Ever since then she has changed towards me. And maybe that is part of the lesson here. To learn to accept things as they are. I tried to get back into her graces but it was too late. She felt I was being clingy and I probably was, but such is life. When you are afraid of losing something so great you hold onto it. Letting go is the hardest thing in life to do. Shes burned her bridge with me a few times and left nothing but a foot path for when she needs me. And that I believe is limited to buying booze at cons. But if that is as close as she is willing to be with me now then I will accept it. Else I fear I would lose even that footpath. Though I must keep on with my life. It doesnt stop and wait for anyone. I cant just wait. But I will be there when I am needed for anyone and everyone. Because that is who I am.