Attention to details

It has been a while since I last posted here.

This time my message is from the direct wisdom of my experience. Not just observations of others.

When I am in a relationship again, I will NEVER fail to say I love you as often as possible and to mean it every time.

When I am in a relationship I will NEVER fail to make kisses and hugs a more regular aspect of sex, because when its not the girl feels like she is just being used for the sex. I must make an active effort to be more intimate.

When I am in a relationship I will NEVER tell a friend I cant come see him because Im with my girl and going to get laid. Even if that is the only language he understands to get him to leave me alone, if the girl finds out she will still have that feeling she is being used as an excuse and a sex object.

When I am in a relationship I will NEVER fail to take the girl I love out on dates, even if money is tight it is important to make her realize how much she means to me.

When I am in a relationship I will NEVER let my "serious face" show over the joy that my lover gives my heart. It is far more important to let the internal emotions of love project to the outside.

Guys, let these be lessons to you. If you love her, show it, always.

Who Am I?

I have a very close and personal friend who is going through a bit of an identity crisis. Ive been completely at a loss of words to help them, until today. My mind has been racing since I woke up and started cleaning around the apartment. I remembered when I was finding myself several years ago. I hated who I had become, I didnt want to be me and I didnt know how to start over and rebuild myself. At that time a friend told me that it was very much like a salad bar. Each fruit or vegitable is a character trait or aspect of your potential self. Go and flavor what you want. Somethings you may not want to try, so dont. Some things may be worth tasting, if you try something and you dont like it, then it isnt you. If you try something and you do like it then it is you.

I remember hating how I felt no one could trust me. I hated that I felt I couldnt trust other people. I hated religion. I hated that I hated so much. For me the biggest thing was the trust issue. People couldnt trust me. I couldnt trust myself. So I started doing little things at first, returning borrowed pencils, doing small favors here and there. I stopped stealing from people. I stopped lieing to people. I used to lie to people just because I enjoyed that it warped their understanding of things. I was a pretty sick bastard.

In the end I became who I wanted to be. People trusted me and I trusted people, I give them the benefit of the doubt. I became Mr Reliable. People knew they could count on me. I explored my spiritual aspect without the firm lines of religion and added a whole other depth to me I never knew existed before (its something that has become a very important aspect of who I am).

I acknowledged that I must never stop developing and growing who I am. Its not something that is a static thing. We all change in various ways from every decision we make. I made the decision to always change positively and learn what I could from my mistakes, choices, and results.

So to those who stumble upon this who may be looking to discover who they are. Decide first who you want to be. Take the steps to make it happen. Build yourself a foundation of character traits and personalities that you seek to be. Then be it.

Mmmbop

I was listening to the radio yesterday and Daria was reading the words to songs that were hard to hear so people could understand what the song was about. One of these was Mmmbop by Hanson. I never liked Hanson but I have to admit that after hearing the lyrics to this song I have a bit more respect for them.

You have so many relationships in this life
Only one or two will last
You go through all this pain and strife
Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast
And they're gone so fast
So hold on to the ones who really care
In the end they'll be the only ones there
When you get old and start losing your hair
Can you tell me who will still care?
Can you tell me who will still care?

Chorus:
Mmm bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du

Mmm bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du

Plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose
You can plant any one of those
Keep planting to find out which one grows
It's a secret no one knows
It's a secret no one knows

(Repeat Chorus)

In an mmm bop they're gone.
In an mmm bop they're not there.
In an mmm bop they're gone.
In an mmm bop they're not there.
Until you lose your hair. But you don't care.

(Repeat Chorus)

Can you tell me? You say you can but you don't know.
Can you tell me which flower's going to grow?
Can you tell me if it's going to be a daisy or a rose?
Can you tell me which flower's going to grow?
Can you tell me? You say you can but you don't know.

(Repeat Chorus)
Aside from the aptly coined "prepubescent scatting" this song is something that tells a truth about relationships. You will have lots and lots of relationships and most of them will be for little or nothing. Only a few will really turn into lasting friendships or love's. I think if children were taught to realize this they wouldnt go through quite as much pain and suffering when they lost their first love or their best friend (typically in middle school, and often times it's what causes juvenile depression).

Its true what they sang. You lose relationships then you get past them and never really care again. It would be nice if all of them remained as great friends, unfortunately that is never the case. For me, and hopefully for those reading, try to be the type that last and remain to be a daisy or a rose. Make relationships last.