Who Am I?

I have a very close and personal friend who is going through a bit of an identity crisis. Ive been completely at a loss of words to help them, until today. My mind has been racing since I woke up and started cleaning around the apartment. I remembered when I was finding myself several years ago. I hated who I had become, I didnt want to be me and I didnt know how to start over and rebuild myself. At that time a friend told me that it was very much like a salad bar. Each fruit or vegitable is a character trait or aspect of your potential self. Go and flavor what you want. Somethings you may not want to try, so dont. Some things may be worth tasting, if you try something and you dont like it, then it isnt you. If you try something and you do like it then it is you.

I remember hating how I felt no one could trust me. I hated that I felt I couldnt trust other people. I hated religion. I hated that I hated so much. For me the biggest thing was the trust issue. People couldnt trust me. I couldnt trust myself. So I started doing little things at first, returning borrowed pencils, doing small favors here and there. I stopped stealing from people. I stopped lieing to people. I used to lie to people just because I enjoyed that it warped their understanding of things. I was a pretty sick bastard.

In the end I became who I wanted to be. People trusted me and I trusted people, I give them the benefit of the doubt. I became Mr Reliable. People knew they could count on me. I explored my spiritual aspect without the firm lines of religion and added a whole other depth to me I never knew existed before (its something that has become a very important aspect of who I am).

I acknowledged that I must never stop developing and growing who I am. Its not something that is a static thing. We all change in various ways from every decision we make. I made the decision to always change positively and learn what I could from my mistakes, choices, and results.

So to those who stumble upon this who may be looking to discover who they are. Decide first who you want to be. Take the steps to make it happen. Build yourself a foundation of character traits and personalities that you seek to be. Then be it.