The Secrets

So many times I have found myself contemplating the things I have discovered from my relationship. And many times people have asked me for advice. Ive never written them all down before.

Of the many important aspects to a relationship love is the most important part. However people are so foolish today. No one knows what love is anymore. People either wait for that strong pull of emotion and perfection or they give their hearts to anyone that passes by. Ill start by explaining that there are essentially three stages of love. Being in love, lovers, and loving. These things are different and many are unable to tell what makes each one unique.

- Being in love is the energy that exists between two human beings when they acknowledge they love each other. When you get those butterflies in your stomach when you think about them. It is that nervous energy. Being in love is a great feeling. Its a euphoria that makes you smile when your partner looks at you. It is the romanticism that we all have been looking for. What many fail to realize however is that this feeling is fleeting. This is the absolute truth. Eventually the butterflies go away. Many feel this and break-up with the person because they think that being in love is supposed to last forever. Those people however will jump between relationships until they realize the difference between loving someone and being in love.

- Being lovers is when you and your partner physically engage in sex. This isnt to be confused with the physical action. You can have sex with someone and not be lovers. To be a lover is to romantically love your sexual partner.

- So what is love? Love is to acknowledge what makes someone who they are and to care greatly for them regardless of their virtues or vices. I love my family, they are not the best people in the world, but I love them. I love my friends, they are not perfect but I love them. I love this person or that person, I know them on a very personal level and I care very greatly for them. These are not unrelated loves. They may seem like different kinds of loves but like a tree, though they grow into different branches, they grow from the same trunk and roots. This is the part most people misunderstand. People are looking to be in love before acknowledging loves existence. And that is why so many of us spend our lives looking for just the right person. Instead look inside and realize who you love. Ask yourself... Who has become a part of my life? Who have I let deep inside my feelings? Who would go to when I need comfort? Who would come to me when they need comfort? These are the ones that you love most. If you are currently in a loving relationship then there is absolutely no reason at all you would need to share the most intimate of feelings, conversations and comforts with anyone but your loving partner. Otherwise there are other things that must be addressed.

And I will talk about those another time...